Al Swearengen is one of my most favorite on-screen managers of all time. I realize his language leaves a little something to be desired, and he can be, to use his own words, a ruthless cocksucker, but if you watch the whole series you will see he is also a kickass manager, with highly effective strategies and habits.
Al's is definitely not a style to be emulated by the faint of heart, nor to be visited too harshly upon the meeker of your staff. But he is, at bottom, compassionate, pragmatic and far-sighted, and you can't ask for better qualities in a manager. He inspires loyalty and respect. He never drops his game face in public. He's got some pretty good motivational speeches to his credit.
I could dedicate an entire Web site to the wit and wisdom of Al as it
pertains to management. For today's purposes, I will list my top 5
moments of management inspiration.
Pain or damage don't end the world, or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man, and give some back.
This is a valuable lesson many managers seem to overlook or ignore. Whether you are in a job where long-term projects are the norm or where each shift represents a blank slate, every day has the potential for pain, just as it has the potential for excellence. It's the darker side of the adage "prepare the worst, hope for the best." There will be good days and bad days, projects will start and finish, but there is always the potential for another beating in store, and you might as well just grit your teeth and be ready for it. It's not a problem to solve, it's a reality to accept.
Al: It's not the fucking hour. It's not the fucking vantage of the chair. It's you, that's changed the level of your suction somehow. That's the fucking sum and substance of it.
Dolly: Maybe if I get on my knees?
Al: You're the cocksucker. Change the fucking angle.
Don't micromanage. If you've got a problem and the person responsible for getting the work done has an idea to fix it, give them their shot. Expect them to do their jobs, expect them to fix problems, and they will rise to the occasion.
You look like a fucking idiot, if no one has yet conveyed to you the truth.
On the other hand, if you've got an employee who is truly hopeless, you can't make them feel better by telling them that they're going to run the world someday. It's wrong to give them false hope and it is counterproductive, since in six months you'll be having another conversation with them about why they haven't advanced. Now, the followup to this is you need to help these people figure out what their problem is -- are they in the wrong job? Are their true talents hidden and going to waste? Are they just morons whose responsibilities need to be limited to sweeping up and emptying waste bins? Remember, just as good work reflects well on you as a manager, bad work will sink your reputation.
The obvious merits utterance.
I've worked with people who seemed nearly completely devoid of independent thought. I used to toy with the idea of telling them to "put on their shoes and socks," just to see if they'd actually do it in that order. Be clear, be concise, leave nothing to interpretation. If need be, get down on your own hands and knees and demonstrate how to scrub blood off the floorboards. (And for what it's worth, absorbing this management lesson will also help you to be a much better parent. Trust me, I know whereof I speak.)
Let's leave it all alone. I'm stupidest when I try to be funny.
And finally, remember your place as the person in charge. Make sure your delivery is going to kill before you open your mouth.
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